Bittersweet Goodbyes for the sake of New Beginnings

     This afternoon I went to my high school's graduation to say one last final goodbye to all of our seniors. The past two years I've been in high school, I haven't been particularly close with the upperclassmen, but this year was really different. I do high school cheer, and I was also in our school musical, and there were a considerable amount of seniors in both of those groups. It was really weird to watch all of these people who I've sat next to in class, stood on the sidelines next to, and made on and off-stage memories with for the past 9 months walk across the stage and get their diplomas...I mean it would seem weird to walk past them in the halls tomorrow, but it still hasn't hit me that they're going to be gone! I love this year's seniors so much. I wish I could rewind time so that I could relive some of the memories, and not have to watch them all go away to college and out into the world.
     But I know that it's all for a reason. I know that it's time for them to say goodbye to high school, and move on to bigger and better things. Because that's the only way that we really get anywhere in life. We have to burst through our bubbles, and break down the walls that make us feel safe and secure. We have to move on.
     Since I'm going to be a senior this year, I've really been thinking a lot lately about the past few years of high school. It's funny, because I remember being an 8th grader, and coming on my high school tour with a freshman and thinking, "oh my god...they're FRESHMAN...they're so old and smart and they're in HIGH SCHOOL!" Then, before I knew it, I was a freshman, and I was thinking to myself, "holy crap, the seniors are so old. They're gonna go off to college this year, and then be adults in the real world". And now...I'm going to be a senior, and I honestly don't feel like I'm very old at all! I keep wondering if the incoming freshman are going to look at me and think that I'm so old, and that I'm so grown up, and really, in the grand scheme of things, I'm just a kid! I feel like I am fairly responsible and mature and insightful, but at the same time, I have SO MUCH that I still need to learn before I could really make it in this world. It's just kind of weird to think about it all. I feel like yesterday i was in kindergarten playing with Lincoln Logs and building blocks, and now I'm going to start applying for college! It's crazy how fast time goes.
     And that's another thing. I mean with all the seniors going off to college, I keep thinking, "No! Make the time slow down! Just let me have a few more moments with them before they run off and start this whole new chapter of their lives!" But time doesn't care about what we want. It doesn't take into consideration the things we still wanted to do before a deadline comes around or another date is suddenly looming on the horizon. Time just keeps on going. It's something that you can always depend on, and it's something that can leave you falling behind the moment you lose track of it.
     Time pushes us. It pushes us right out of our bubbles, and right through our walls. It forces us to move on, whether we want to or not. Time is bittersweet.
     And just as it told those beloved seniors that 3pm, on Sunday, June 9th, 2012 was time for them to move on, Sunday night at quarter till 11 is telling me the same. So until time has us meet again, good night! (:

Sweet Dreams,

-Nicki